Project name: rated r
When I was in high-school, i got assaulted at a school event. A boy i had never met choked me and pushed me to the ground. These are the encouraging words i got from the school board, people around me and even the police.
This video was part of a bigger installation I did at my high-school. It landed me a national media diploma and stipend.
Are you aware participation in this event is voluntary?
asked by the school headmistress right after the incident Yes, but I did not realise it entails giving a free pass to manhandling.
I know that boy, he is a nice boy… He is just going through a rough patch.
an explanation offered to me by the headmistress, who knew the boys family personally.So, the rough patch I will now have to go through should be cancelled out just because this kid is going through something too? So, instead of you getting him some help you will just enable this violent behaviour and expect me to roll over for his comfort?
Let me remind you every boy is a nice boy until they fucking aren't. And every girl is a nice girl, until they're forced not to be.
Why can’t you just let it be?
Question posed by a student i had talked to a couple times at a bar. Because while he was choking me he and his friends were laughing at the situation. After I was on the ground, he ran away to avoid concequences. And when dragged back to the scene, he kept blaming me for it.
So I think I am well in my rights to demand that he face some consequences, and I believe those consequences should be something more serious than being forced to say sorry through the teeth.
I will not be advised on how to react by strangers. Nor will I be shamed on my response by someone who has no business in my business.
this event has a tendency to upset people.
A quote from the school-wide email the headmistress sent, without my consent, explaining what had gone down. The fact that you justify violence and instead shame me for my reaction is despicable. In addition, I am not upset; I’m down right fucking furious.
Also, I would have appreciated a heads-up on the email, especially since in the email you portray the situation as me just overreacting.
Well did it even leave any bruising?
A professor chiming into the discussion right after the incident, while I am having a panick attack. Thank you for asking, it did not leave visible bruising. Instead it left me with years of chronic stomach ache and gut health issues.
Also, if you measure the seriousness of a trauma based on what physical evidence it leaves behind you are seriously lacking in your understanding on the multiple forms of violence and their varying degree.
Someone grabbing me by the neck unexpectedly, pushing me for multiple meters while choking me and then finally pushing me to the ground might not leave a big bruise on the outside, but it sure as hell will affect your mental health and feelings of safety.
Well this all depends on how you define choking.
The headmistress trying to convince me i am overreacting, meanwhile i am calling the police. I define choking as someone grabbing my throat and me not being able to breathe. I am surprised the headmistress does not comprehend the meaning of the word.
I heard he APOLOGIzED to someone. just let it be already!
A messaged sent to me by another student who hung out around the same people i did. Firstly, it amuses me that you think just because he apologised to someone else that apology would somehow make me feel better. After all, I was the one who got assaulted, no one else.
You are asking me to let it be because you are worried they might cancel other events now due to this incident. You would rather me shut the hell up, stop making waves. For you, it seems, your comfort and amusement are more important than actually ensuring everyone is safe and indeed having fun at these events.
why do you even want to press charges?
question posed by the police officer taking my statement. Because I believe in a world where you can not hurt someone without consequences.
Because of all the times abusers get away with it.
Because it’s the right thing to do.